The art of asking questions is in your tone of voice, your body language and your remarks. The science is found in how you construct your question.
There are two kinds of asking – asking God/source energy/universe/infinite intelligence – whatever you want to call it.
And then there is asking on another plane – asking other people by making human requests, e.g., can you give me five dollars for a cup of coffee? will you publish my book?
If you have trouble asking people, this can get in the way of you being successful.
Why are some people afraid to ask? For some it can be uncomfortable, they don’t want to appear needy, foolish, are afraid of rejection and hearing the word no.
But rejection is a myth – it only exists in your mind. For example, if I ask someone out for dinner tonight and they say no, I didn’t have anyone to eat dinner with before and I didn’t have anyone to eat dinner with after. I didn’t lose anything. It is what we tell ourselves is where we run into problems. So, if you get rejected – reject the rejection. Don’t take it personally, ask someone else, say “next.”
Her 5 principles come from Jack Canfield’s book The Success Principles – How to Get from Where you Are to Where you want to Be:
- Ask as if you expect to get it. Ask with a positive expectation. Ask from the place that you have already been given it. It’s a done deal. Ask if you expect to get a yes.
- Assume you can. Don’t start with the assumption that you can’t get it. If you are going to assume anything, assume you can get an upgrade. Assume that you can return it without a sales slip. Assume that you can get a raise. Don’t ever assume against yourself.
- Ask someone who can give it you. Qualify the person. “Who would I have to speak to get….” “Who is authorized to make a decision about…” “What would have to happen for me to get…” “What would have to happen for me to get an upgrade…”
- Be clear and specific. If you want a raise, say “I want a $5,000 raise by next week.”
- Ask repeatedly. Kids are really good at this. Ask the same person on a different day, a different time, when you are more comfortable. You may get a yes.
Some will, some won’t, so what, someone’s waiting. Someone will give you a yes. So when you hear the word no… I want you to say “NEXT!”
